"Stream of conciousness"

For the past 3 weeks, we have over analysed each individual word of the the first Act of Macbeth in advanced English (and people wonder why I over analyse situations so much...). Today, in merely one 50 minute period, we skimmed through Acts 2 and 3, so that I barely know what happened in those 2 acts, let alone techniques and what not. And saying that the middle 2 acts of the plays aren't as relevant is absolute bull because everyone knows that's not true. Why the hell do I have to have such an illogical English teacher? *sigh* Not only is she illogical and obviously doesn't know how to manage time (I'm not being hypocritical - I'm a student, she's a teacher) she also sets lots of written responses for us to hand in and then never bothers collecting them and doesn't bother handing them back when she does collect some. She only handed back some comprehension responses today, mine not included. What teacher subjectively chooses half the classes responses, marks them and hands them back and (with no explanation) ignores the other half? I may aswell not bother doing them anymore since she doesn't even check you've handed it in and doesn't ever bother asking for them even if only 3 students hand them in and quite obviously the najority of the class hasn't. I still have a fairytale appropriation I wrote one late night last week for ext. english and she hasn't cared to collect it (I'm unfortunate enough to have the same teacher for advanced and ext). Ridiculous - there's no such thing as improvement without some form of criticism.

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Today I had my ext. 1 maths assesment, and it wasn't all so bad. I got stuck on about 3 questions and went in circles on one of them, but apart from that I think I did reasonably well, considering I didn't do much study. I was contemplating staying up till the early hours of the morning to do some past papers but was totally dead and couldn't care less at the time :)

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These past few weeks, in particular this one, have gone so fast, and I'm glad. Not too long ago I experience one loooong week and ever since then the weeks have been flashing before my eyes and I can hardly get a grip on time because, before I know it, we've come to the end of the week and it's the weekend again. After tomorrow, everything will become a whole lot less stressful, because the work may not ever decrease (because I don't do any of it) but it certainly won't increase and pile up either, because I have only 2 days of school next week and on each of those days I am sitting an assesment for a couple of periods and then leaving. So I won't have any additional h/w or assignments until the following Tuesday =) , by which time I would have hopefully attempted to complete some work that is currently piling up. Otherwise if not, at least I just won't have legal/chem assesments to study (or worry...) about.

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I need a new job *sigh*. Job hunting, fun. Can't wait to find a new job though.

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There's so many things I want to do in life. If I wrote a list I'm positive it would be more than 100 things to do before I die. But where is the time? When will I ever get the chance to do all these things? It's so frustrating to think that the majority of your life you go to school, go to uni, work and have kids all the while suffering stress and growing old and wrinkley without realising it, until you find one day that you're in a hospital bed or nursing home and you can't explain how you got there (perhaps because you have amnesia...). *sigh* I want adventure.

And speaking of wants, I was also recently thinking that I want guts. Or rather, I want the ability to express my guts. To say what I think and do what I want and not care what other people think, not care about the consequences. To focus on the now reasons for doing something, rather than over analysising the future implications of the not-yet-done action. Like in Macbeth. Where Lady Macbeth says "Come, thick night, / And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, / That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, / Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, / To cry, 'Hold, hold.'" To take risks and not worry about reputation because you only get one shot at life. To be not only young, but carefree, because the two go side by side, right? Since when do carefree spirits die at the age of 16 (or less)? It feels like just yesterday that I was in primary school. I often see people from my primary school on my bus or at the shops, and whether they be in my year or younger, most of them haven't changed and so it takes so little effort to transport myself back to that small little building in that small little room at the back where we sat and relive those moments. Just today when I hopped off the bus, I saw a young girl from my primary school (who was probably just starting kindy when I left) who has an older sister (who was in about year 3 or 4 when I left also). The younger one is now probably in year 4 and is exactly how I remember the older one to be, however I also see her around sometimes and she is in year 8 or 9. Where did all the time pass? That one sister should look exactly like her other half did 5 years ago? *sigh*


That is all.