Etre

I long for a complete sense of emancipation. No pressure, no one on your back, no one asking you to do things, no one asking where you're going, no one wondering where you are, no places to be, no one needing to know where you've been and what you've done. No restrictions, no obligations, no responsiblities, no accountability, no rules, nothing. That's emancipation. The sense of freedom created by nothingness. As my Year 3 teacher used to say - we are human beings not human doings. To exist without any other trivial purpose. To be. And just to be.

Last night after debating (which by the way, we lost - against Tanggara again! Gahh, hate them. So frustrating, especially since it was about whaling and everyone knows whaling is bloody evil and cruel so we should have won) it was raining. I didn't have an umbrella and had to walk to the other side of the school and had to walk through non-sheltered areas to do so. I was completely drenched to the skin from head to toe within about 30 seconds of walking. Other than the white-shirt-see-through factor when wet (lucky no one was around) it was the best. I haven't felt rain like that in yonks and it wasnt the pissy spitting crap type of rain either, it was literally just bucketing down. And there was lightening :) I felt quite liberated. Rain has that effect on me. Not completely liberated (is such a state attainable?) ofcourse, but liberated enough. It was kind of rejuvenating - to experience that short time of emancipation and then hit earth again, and go back to the reality of restraints and obligations and accountability and rules and things to be done etc. *sigh* It was good while it lasted.