I'm letting go of all I've held onto.
And when it all comes around again I'll walk straight past and shrug them off.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
The new year
Yesterday was the first day of the new year. I had spent the last week of 2008 at PY camp; So, coming home exhausted yesterday, I opted for a night in. My parents, however, opted for a night out. I think my parents may be developing more of a social life than than my own. It's pretty scary. Perhaps I should put more effort into developing my social life...
As for welcoming in the new year, I didn't. Well, at least not with optimism. I look forward to being done with school, I just don't look forward to finishing school. I'm told that year 12 has hardly started, that it only gets worse from here; and yet, I feel as if I've already failed. I've got loads to do (...to start) these holidays and I've wasted the last month and I can't get that time back. And now I find myself a month closer to the HSC. I'm even having dreams about the HSC (all bad ones). I've had at least 5 (ranging from english assessments involving waterfalls, to being sent to juvy and not being able to complete the HSC) that I can remember, and I'm sure amongst the many dreams that I don't remember the next morning, I've had more. The only dreams I remember these days are the ones about yr 12. Even when I'm not thinking about it directly, it's obviously floating around in my subconcious anyway. To add insult to injury, I don't have much time left because I'm heading off to Port Macquarie soon and will be spending a couple of weeks up there.
On second thought, maybe I should post-pone the whole developing my social life thing 'til after the HSC..? Pretty sure yr 12 will ruin my attempts anyway.
As for welcoming in the new year, I didn't. Well, at least not with optimism. I look forward to being done with school, I just don't look forward to finishing school. I'm told that year 12 has hardly started, that it only gets worse from here; and yet, I feel as if I've already failed. I've got loads to do (...to start) these holidays and I've wasted the last month and I can't get that time back. And now I find myself a month closer to the HSC. I'm even having dreams about the HSC (all bad ones). I've had at least 5 (ranging from english assessments involving waterfalls, to being sent to juvy and not being able to complete the HSC) that I can remember, and I'm sure amongst the many dreams that I don't remember the next morning, I've had more. The only dreams I remember these days are the ones about yr 12. Even when I'm not thinking about it directly, it's obviously floating around in my subconcious anyway. To add insult to injury, I don't have much time left because I'm heading off to Port Macquarie soon and will be spending a couple of weeks up there.
On second thought, maybe I should post-pone the whole developing my social life thing 'til after the HSC..? Pretty sure yr 12 will ruin my attempts anyway.
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