I recently made a choice, not out of impulse, but I didn't deliberate over it for ages either. It felt good to make the choice pretty quickly and feel so sure about it. However now I am coming to terms with the fact that I need to make another choice. But actually, it isn't really a choice at all - there's only one option. The thing is, I wish there were two, because I am finding it hard to accept that option as my choice, because it isn't my choice. I have no say in it at all, I've just been handed only one of the options to the decision and have to come to terms with that as "my own choice". It's completely unfair in my opinion. I shouldn't have to decide on a matter with only one real resolution, and then have people say to me "Well fair enough, it's your choice", or have to label the decision as my choice. It's as if this supposed "choice" is being forced upon me, ironically enough - as the term choice itself indicates free will and different options to consider.
*Sigh* It's exhausting.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
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