"Pens Down"

Well SC is over. Technically, it's not, 'cause we still have the "computing skills test" tomorrow, but it is the easiest thing ever. I wouldn't give if I failed it anyway. And we only need to come in for one hour tomorrow :) So I think I may do some job hunting *sigh* Gay, really need to find a job.

I'm so glad I never have to hear that stupid lady's voice again. She was so annoying.
"Supervisors, please stop collecting"
[3 seconds later]
"OK, you can start collecting again"
Arggh. Boy did she like the sound of her own voice in that microphone, funny, 'cause everyone else hated it. She liked having the power to control us, you could tell.
Weirdo.

Meh, anyway. Maths was great, wasn't too bad at all, although I didn't check much at the end, and just before our time was up, I checked something and realised it was wrong, but didn't have time to change it :( Oh well. Only a multiple choice question, probably won't make a difference.

History and Geography could have been worse, but I can't say I was too thrilled with them either. Had to fudge my way through a lot of it, but as with the Science paper, I made up stuff that sounds semi-believable :) I knew the Whitlam Dismissal back to front though, which was awesome - I didn't have enough room to write so I ended up writing on the blank page at the back, which I think you're meant to keep blank. Opps. I knew I should have wrote small. I hope they don't penalise me. Or worse, I hope they don't ignore it and not mark it at all! I think I may have wrote on a blank page for Geography also. It's not my fault they don't give me enough room to write as much crap as I can possibly think of. If only there was a blank page at the back of the interview in English, I would have definitely used that too! I have a bit of a habit with writing in undesignated writing spaces. I often fill up the margins if I've run out of room :) Hmm, I think I may have done that for a couple of question today too. Hehe, I still remember my History teacher saying my paper was a mess and she could hardly read it 'cause I had written in the margins. Sheesh.

Wasn't stressed at all, but glad it's all over anyway. The rest of this week's a bludge - tomorrow is the computing test for 1 hour, thursday we don't do work 'cause it's some life long learning crap, and friday we only go to school for half a day :D Then only 3 weeks of school left, which is rollover anyway, so I can finally get an idea whether I've chosen the wrong subjects or not.

Yep, that's about it.

OWLS *cough* I mean, SC

I had my first School Certificate exams today. English and Science. They were easy, and I had quite a bit of time to spare in each. In English, we had to write an imaginative piece that referred to 'laughter' in some way, and I wrote about this girl who was always being laughed at and kept on moving schools and at the end she decided the only solution was to be the one laughing, not the one laughed at :) It was pretty damn awesome, if I may say so myself. I screwed up the interview though, they so didn't give us enough room to write! I had to write an interview about this girl's entire life story (from growing up on a farm, to going on a gap year, to studying marine biology and then finally how she became an animal activist and started a new group in her community to save wildlife) in one tiny page! Ok, so I should have simplified her life a little, but it was a brilliant life story and besides, by the time I realised I should have cut out the crap, it was already too late. So I ended up saying what the whole interview was meant to be about in the last 2 lines. Opps :)

Science was alright, better than I expected, but then again that's what I thought of the trials :S Had to make up a bit of crap along the way, but it sounded semi-believable, so all is good :)

I haven't studied at all for the SC. I really don't care. It was kinda weird though. Walking into the exam room and realising the people that weren't in uniforms weren't teachers we knew, but rather Board of Studies exam supervisors. I had forgotten all about that, or maybe I never really knew? I think I only thought they come in for HSC exams. The lady that used the microphone to tell us the instructions and say "Pens down" had an annoying voice. The whole thing reminded me of Hogwarts and the OWLS examinations, because I remember how they had people from the Ministry of Magic or something come in to supervise those exams. I know this sounds crazy, but it kinda felt like I was at Hogwarts. *Sigh* I love those moments, it's my dream come true - to live in the wizarding world and go to Hogwarts and all. But yeah, other than that brief magical daydream, my day wasn't out of the ordinary :)

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy - Down in my heart - Where? - Down in my heart to stay

I am going to type out a reflection that I read from a devotions book last night, which I hadn't really touched since I bought it from Koorong months ago. The book is called "Peace for a Woman's Soul". I'm not entirely sure why, because it doesn't seem to specifically address women. I'm sure a guy could read it and get just as much out of it. I recommend you do read it (even if you are a guy =]), 'cause so far, the few pages of it I have read have been great.

Anyway, here it is:

Joy is not only an emotion to be desired, it is also a command to be obeyed. Joy is - to some degree - a choice. How can this be? Are you to simply ignore your circumstances and live outside of reality? No, but a life of joy can be learned - and suffering is most often the teacher.

The Scriptures clearly point out the path toward a life of joy: accept your circumstances and be thankful in them, choose not to worry, fix your eyes on jesus rather than on your situation - follow his example in suffering - and put your hope in future glory. It is through the joy and peace exhibited in suffering that God is most visible in your life. When you live a life of joy - regardless of your circumstances - others will see Jesus in you.

Whatever your current circumstances, God longs to comfort you, heal you and give you his peace, joy and hope. Take your needs to him in prayer. Lay all your hurts and worries before him. Ask him to help you accept your circumstances, fix your eyes on Jesus and live life in joy and peace.

I found this book and this particular message at the right time, or rather it found me at the right time. Through it, God pretty much directly answered questions and doubts I had concerning the topic of joy. I have grappled with this certain topic for quite some time now, and have slowly grasped certain aspects of it. However, each time I read over that reflection, it amazes me more and more how directly related it was to the aspects I was still having trouble understanding. It is amazing how perfect God's timing is and the various ways he speaks to us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" - Proverbs 3:5-6

P.S. The title is an old Padstow Sunday School song that I haven't remembered in years, but just suddenly came to me when I was thinking of what to name this =] Good old Padstow days!

People I Trust

I was thinking a bit today about the people I trust most. It was funny, 'cause in almost all of them, (there weren't many), I noticed similarities. The people I trust tend to not only go to another school, but are also people that I don't see very regularly (some of which live far away) but am still quite close with. These people are the easiest to talk.

I know I have a trust issue. I don't trust some of the people I really should trust. Not because they are untrustable. Simply for fear of being judged - 'cause they know me too well (or sometimes, only know one side/too little of me), and for fear that they may tell someone, who I also may know, out of concern.

That leads me to the question - Is it simply coincidence that most of those I trust share the common factors I stated above? Or is it that I trust them because they have these common factors? Is it that I trust them, knowing that even if they were to break my trust, it's likely that whoever they told wouldn't be someone who knew me anyway?

If the latter is true, it poses a new problematic quesion in itself - Do I really trust these people at all, or am I just secure in the fact that we are great friends but they don't know anyone that I know? Or in other words - Is this trust or is it taking the easy way out?

The Friday/Saturday Night Mood

I hate it. It is a terribly unbearable mood to be in. Let me explain. It is a mood you inevitably get on a friday/saturday night when there are no parties happening and you have failed to make any social plans. It is a mixture of extreme bordem, exhaustion from the long week that has just passed by, and wanting to do something to eliminate the mood, yet not even wanting to lift a finger at the same time. Really, once the mood has hit, there isn't a lot you can do to get out of it. Everything you try doing to eliminate the mood has absoluetly no affect, everything is so bland and boring (even MSN!). And the prospect of sleeping even seems so tiresome (no pun intended) even though you are completely exhausted and all week have waited for the weekend so you could finally sleep (in).

So if nothing you could possibly do (including things that usually give you hours of entertainment on end) could make you any less bored, and if you don't even want to sleep it off and get rid of your exhaustion at least, this mood is truly a pain in the arse - that is unless you decide to hit the town for the night. I'll definitely be opting for the latter option next weekend.

P.S.Is it just me, or does everyone else get these moods too?

Metaphorical musings

They say the sun shines at 6000 degrees celcius (15 million degrees celcius at the core) all year round - day in, day out. Then why the hell can't we feel it in winter?

Apple on a tree

In a world so fallen like ours - with so much suffering and little justice done, with such temporary pleasures and neverending hardships - I find hope in God alone. Nevertheless, I am human and tend to crop God out of the picture as one so often does. With God out of the picture, there is nothing to cling onto in this stuffed up world of ours. Everything is so damn temporary, things can change in the blink of an eye - people you thought you knew, relationships you thought were solid. One minute you're cruising along the river of life, having a ball. The next, you are stuck in the mangroves or something.

Hmm. I haven't really came to a conclusion yet so I guess this is To be continued...