I was thinking a bit today about the people I trust most. It was funny, 'cause in almost all of them, (there weren't many), I noticed similarities. The people I trust tend to not only go to another school, but are also people that I don't see very regularly (some of which live far away) but am still quite close with. These people are the easiest to talk.
I know I have a trust issue. I don't trust some of the people I really should trust. Not because they are untrustable. Simply for fear of being judged - 'cause they know me too well (or sometimes, only know one side/too little of me), and for fear that they may tell someone, who I also may know, out of concern.
That leads me to the question - Is it simply coincidence that most of those I trust share the common factors I stated above? Or is it that I trust them because they have these common factors? Is it that I trust them, knowing that even if they were to break my trust, it's likely that whoever they told wouldn't be someone who knew me anyway?
If the latter is true, it poses a new problematic quesion in itself - Do I really trust these people at all, or am I just secure in the fact that we are great friends but they don't know anyone that I know? Or in other words - Is this trust or is it taking the easy way out?
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2 comments:
I don't think that's trust, although I do it too.
Leaving yourself completely vulnerable to a person, where they have someone they can hold over you, or hurt you with - and then believing (not hoping!) that they would never (intentionally?) hurt you or upset you...that's trust. It doesn't count if you tell someone stuff when you know they can't hurt you, or hold it against you, because then you're not leaving yourself vulnerable. You're just venting!
Hmm, I agree with you, I think.
Except that, if someone was to unintentionally hurt me (say by breaking my trust out of concern), I wouldn't say I'd trust them anymore, 'cause whether it was unintentional or intentional, they are fully aware of what they are doing and of the consequences - it'll hurt the 'victim' either way. So hence, I would say that trust is when you believe someone would never (unintentionally, or intentionally) hurt you or break your trust under any circumstance.
As you can see I have a very high standard for those I trust and therefore I think you would understand why i don't trust many...
I prefer to vent :)
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