Blast to the present?

The concept of time is quite bizarre. When I think about it too much, it confuses the hell out of me. I cannot grasp the term "forever", nor can I understand why it is that if you could go back in time, you wouldn't be able to change anything. Let's start with "forever". Forever seems so openended. So long, so never ending. It doesn't have any closure. If you unravel a ball of wool, you will eventually stop unravelling. Or if you counted every single person in the world, there'd be an end to your counting 'cause you'd eventually die (or the world would blow up from global warming, who knows). I wonder. If you travelled out into space, where does it end? Would there be some sort of cliff - a void that you can't enter perhaps - that forces you to turn back, or is it just never ending. I am trying to picture the shape of space (if you were to draw it on a single piece of paper) and I cannot create it's shape. Hmm. Anyway, I'm confused enough about time to be worrying about space.

OK - to my second difficulty. Why is it that if you were able to go back in time, you wouldn't be able to change anything? I mean, it's impossible to go back in time anyway, so how can you even start theorising about what you would and wouldn't be able to do if you could? If it were possible to go back in time, then I'd say it'd be just as easy to change something. Unless we can already "go back in time" so to speak. Revisiting places and situations through our memories. Then I suppose you can't change anything. Except your perspectives on the place/situation. Well, technically you could change things, you could alter things in your memory. But I think the theory refers to going back in time as a more literal sort of thing.

Another thing that confuses me about time is simply (or not so simply) how it works. I mean, right now I can think "In no time at all it'll be holidays and I'll be bludging". But then I still have the whole of this week to live through. And yet, when holidays come, I'll be thinking "Wow, it felt like only a minute ago that I was dreaming about the holidays". I don't get that. I don't get it, especially when it's on a much larger scale of time. I don't get how it is that 5 years ago, when I was 11, I would have been stumped when asked the question "What will you be doing in 5 years time?". But I would have thought that one day I would be 16. And now here I am. I have lived through those 5 years. But where did the time go? I remember the time between now and then, but at the same time, it feels like I clicked my fingers and here I am in the future, 16 years old. That's a scary thought. Time is a scary thought. 'Cause sometimes I think of the things I may encounter in the future like going to uni, working full time, getting married ecetera. And then I think how weird it'll be when I am actually in uni or working full time or married or whatever and I think how I'll look back to times like these when I thought about the future and wonder where the time went. Wonder how suddenly I had went from a 16 year school girl to a 26 year old full time professional. And it feels like I could just click my fingers and I'll be in an office typing away on some high-tech computer (which reminds me, I got a new phone but it feels like just yesterday when I was playing snake on my brick phone 4-5 years ago, the first phone I had) in office clothes instead of here at home in my pjs. Bizarre. I don't get it. It seems like someone is holding the remote control of my life but they decided to make my head spin in circles by pressing play-stop-rewind-play-fastforward-pause-play-rewind ecetera. *Sigh*